Speaker of the House John Boehner (R) participated in a jaunty interview segment on Golf TV, for some reason, and although the full tête-à-tête doesn’t air until August 3rd, the 30-second preview is an illuminating glimpse into the life of a Republican politician.

Here’s some quick trivia about America’s favorite lil’ obstructionist:

  1. John Boehner is an astonishing shade of nectarine.
  2. John Boehner’s favorite toy is a wind-up monkey.
  3. John Boehner and other members of his peer group cry often and easily...
  4. ...as evidenced by the fact that Boehner himself cries during this interview.

Why was he crying, though? Was it because, as he says, he wants “to make sure that every kid has the same chance that I did...an opportunity—[sob]”? Or was it because his collar was itchy, and he missed nap time, and he’s hungry, and Nancy Pelosi won’t let him kiss her, and Planned Parenthood is gross, and Obama keeps telling him what to do, and it’s not fair?

You decide:

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