Why I'm Dumping You: A Complete List

Of unknown provenance, this breakup list has been going viral, though the sheer quantity and absurdity of the listed offenses draws its legitimacy into question. That said, if this Dear John list is real, we’re not quite sure how the now-defunct relationship ever got past the first sign of a non-ironic airbrushed t-shirt.

Then again, perhaps you’ve dated worse?