Why Do Straight Women Think Being A Lesbian Is Easier?

Illustration for article titled Why Do Straight Women Think Being A Lesbian Is Easier?

It's sort of bizarre how so many times I've heard a friend or a public figure note that they've had trouble with men/a certain man, and that life would be so much less complicated if they were gay.


Ladies, I hate to break it to you, but there's a little something called inequality, and that's a lot crappier to deal with than a guy who won't call you back. (And if a girl you like doesn't call you back, then that's a double whammy.)

Androgynous Eurythmics frontwoman Annie Lennox is the latest to make such a statement. She recently told Saga magazine:

It's not like I think being gay could be an alternative, 'cos it isn't. I sometimes wish it would have been 'cos it would have made life easier.

This comes right after she calls men "a huge disappointment." She quickly adds to her statements, "(But) I'm not a man-hater, let me say that. I love men, love their company."

OK, we get it - you're straight. But seriously - where do women get the idea that being a lesbian is easier? If it's because they think women are just better at relationships, that's just not the truth. As any woman who has been in a relationship of any kind can attest, it takes two to make a thing go right, and personalities just don't jive sometimes. It's not necessarily someone's fault, but things can still be difficult, or downright ugly.

In the December issue of DIVA, Gina Gershon said:

Hey, I wish I were gay, I wish I could be gay; I really just don't think I am. I just don't think it's my thing. I'm really not.


Apology accepted. But seriously - why? Do women just say this because they think they come off as more of an ally? More likeable to lesbian women? I don't think I feel closer to a straight person if they say "If only I was born a dyke like you!"

But on the flipside, I find myself saying "Thank God I'm gay" many times in life, so I'm really just as bad. Like Annie, I feel like I should make it known I'm not a "man-hater," but it all comes down to this: We're still the second sex. That's evident in everything from not receiving equal pay for equal work to some the dynamics of some of our own familial relationships. And when we are women who are in relationships with other women, it's sometimes hard for straight people to understand that the partnership is just as strenuous, if not more so because of the sociopolitical inequality we share.


It might not seem like beautiful women saying they wish they were gay is a bad thing, but what they are really saying is that women are better to one another than men because they have to be. We're all on the same level, and that's below anyone born with a penis. It's similar to the whole "If I Were a Boy" trend in music - it's a wish for the power to have more control and consideration in a relationship, without actually demanding it.

Also, it's just a reminder that this person is not a lesbian. Thanks a lot, Gina Gershon.


This post originally appeared on AfterEllen. Republished with permission.

Illustration for article titled Why Do Straight Women Think Being A Lesbian Is Easier?

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I have never said that. What I have said, however, is that I wished I were bi. For purely statistical reasons...i'd be working with 100% as opposed to 49% of the population.