Why Can't We Get Enough Of Sexy Vampires Having Sexy Sex?

In case you haven’t turned on a TV or looked at the internet or read a magazine for the last few years, vampires are sexy now. Very sexy! But what, exactly, is the appeal of the lusty undead?

From Edward Cullen’s Eyebrows of Longing to the True Blood‘s Eric’s otherworldly abs to that crazy vampire teen makeout show The Vampire Diaries, we’re collectively obsessed. We can’t get enough imaginary pointy teeth in our necks. Weird, when you think about it.

L. A. Banks, award-winning author of the erotic “Vampire Huntress Legends” series, weighs in on the “vampire sex” phenomenon thus:

“Everything is more intense, more dramatic, and more passionate than what one would normally expect…. It’s a love that can go all night but without the little blue pill.”

So, it’s like Vampi-agra?

Horrible punning on their superhuman sexual prowess aside, fans of vampire sex also believe that part of the appeal of vampires is derived from the notion that the modern conception of the sexy vampire looks like a human but isn’t constrained by human moral limitations. Their danger and disregard for social convention render them monstrous but sexually appealing- the ultimate rebel. The only way their rebellion could be more totally ultimate is if they rode around on motorcycles, but I’m sure that’s not far off.

Admittedly, if I sound like a crumudgen, the appeal of the sexy vampire is a little lost on me, as it seems that being a vampire is kind of like having sexy rabies. However, I’m in the minority, and until everyone’s thirst for blood is satiated, vampire sex is here to stay, in all of its dangerous, unrestrained glory.