Whiskey Is the Best Boy In America

“I love ‘em all!” exclaims the National Dog Show announcer, just before the Best in Show Award is announced. Cut to a little wiry guy that looks like he has a beard, cut to three stuffy-looking white guys holding a silver platter, cut to Whiskey the Whippet, the winner and a cool-ass looking little thin dude who is probably really fun to take to the park, assuming his owner lets him consort with the proles!

Whiskey is from Sugar Valley, Georgia, where he stays with his owner and handler, Justin Smithey, who says he still sleeps next to his bed. “This is our companion, our pet, he was born by my bed,” he told NBC, in a nice affirmation that he is not one of those, you know, show dog people. Whiskey is cool! If you want one like him, Smithey breeds them on a magical farm that also includes miniature horses!