Which Children's Show Character Has the Most Demonic Energy?

While I was talking about which Blue’s Clues characters are the most iconic today (Paprika is iconic, and so is Tickety Tock, no more questions), managing editor Megan Reynolds brought up Loonette from the show The Big Comfy Couch.

“This is fucked up,” Megan said. “Look at the core on this bitch.”

“Kids TV is honestly insane,” Kelly Faircloth said.

“Which children’s TV show character is the most demonic?” I wondered, thinking Loonette would be a good candidate. Was she a clown? A mime? Your freshman year drama school roommate?

Personally, Lady Elaine, the incredibly rude, rosy-cheeked puppet from Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, is the most demonic to me.

Rolly and Bingo from Puppy Dog Pals are demonic.

Whatever the hell is happening on New Zoo Revue is demonic.

Johny from “Johny Johny Yes Papa” is capital D Demonic.

Megan Reynolds also sent me this pineapple dude and I don’t know how she sleeps at night.

Thomas the Tank Engine, what’s up with him? Can’t trust him.

I’m crying watching the Zoobilee Zoo theme song.

All the goddamn “surprise eggs” on YouTube and anyone who makes these videos are demons.

And I think we can all agree that the Teletubbies are nightmare fuel.

I’ve decided that Barney, Wishbone the dog, and Hammy the Hamster are decidedly not demonic. They are pure angels who will never hurt anyone.

“You have to be a little bit crazy to do these shows,” Clover Hope said. She’s right. But seriously, which children’s TV show character has the most demonic energy?