Where's Melania? Planning a Picnic and 'Doing Really Well!'

Illustration for article titled Where's Melania? Planning a Picnic and 'Doing Really Well!'
Photo: AP

It’s been two weeks since Melania Trump underwent a relatively minor kidney procedure, and nearly three weeks since she last appeared in public (she didn’t even attend a Memorial Day wreathing event at a military cemetery). So Politico started to get a bit itchy Tuesday afternoon, and published a highly curious article postulating where the First Lady might be and what she has been up to. This silence, Politico reported, seemed sketchy, damning, or unusual at least.


But this was an illusion. In fact, this silence was no more or less sketchy than the official statements that emanate from the White House all the time. Amid this fresh wave of speculation over Melania, People had a statement from her spokesperson, Stephanie Grisham, saying that the First Lady is planning shit around the White House and “doing really well.” Several media outlets received pretty much the same statement.

Grisham said: “She’s been involved in several internal meetings with staff all last week, and that continues this week. We’ve been going over initiatives and other long term planning for events such as the Congressional Picnic and Fourth of July.”

So there you have it, why was anyone ever concerned about this in the first place! Clearly she’s been tied up with initiatives and a picnic, for which a date has yet to be set. And, as we all know, another patriotism holiday is on its way. Grisham didn’t say specifically when Melania will be seen in public again.

On Friday morning, President Donald Trump was asked about his wife’s health. He responded to the press pool by pointing toward the second floor of the White House and exclaiming, “She’s doing great. Right there. She’s doing great. She’s looking at us, right there.” According to the Washington Post, none of the reporters could see her.

Nonetheless she’s there, looking at you, planning an event, peaceably agreeing to hold her husband’s hand.

contributing writer, nights



Are we.... really at the point where the President of the United States, says “she’s right there looking at us,” which is clearly a lie, and it doesn’t even register to anyone, or it’s just doesn’t matter... So did all the reporters look over, thought “what the fuck is is pointing to” and not seeing Melania and just shrugged? Omfg this is where we are.