Image: Getty

You better watch out, you better not cry.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • Representative Adam Schiff is the next chairman of the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence, and he’s ready to use his power to dig into President Donald Trump’s finances, the same thing Trump once threatened Robert Mueller over. Schiff “hypothesizes” that the president “may have shaped policy with an eye to expanding his fortune.” Yeah, I think we’re way past that, but I commend his effort to hold the executive branch accountable to one very bad man’s action. Best of luck to him, as he scuba-dives through the putrid waters of Trump’s businesses. [The New Yorker]
  • ICE deported more than 250,000 people in the 2018 fiscal year, which is astoundingly cruel. It’s worth remembering, too, that President Obama deported more than a hundred thousand more people than that in 2013 [Twitter, ICE]
  • Chris Christie does not want to work for the president, apparently. [New York Post]
  • Ohio isn’t the only state that’s essentially trying to outlaw abortion—a Kentucky lawmaker is trying to make it so doctors must check for a so-called fetal heartbeat before performing an abortion, and make it a felony to go forward with the procedure if one is detected. That would make abortion illegal at as early as six weeks of gestation, which is before many people even know they’re pregnant in the first place. But the term “fetal heartbeat” betrays a staunchly pro-life argument that is not based in science at all; even though one can be detected at five or six weeks, it is not coming from a fully developed organ yet. [WAVE3, WTHR]
  • The Trump administration continues to make it harder for DACA recipients to live here, this time by denying them government-backed loans to buy houses. [BuzzFeed News]
  • John McCain’s Senate seat will be open again, as his successor, Senator Jon Kyl, announced he’s retiring this year. Arizona Governor Doug Ducey will be in charge of appointing the replacement, meaning it will most likely go to another Republican. [Politico]
  • Nancy Pelosi hung on to the House speaker position for two totally unsurprising reasons: Because all the representatives who could have run against her thought it was smarter not to, and because she made deals with the other people who don’t like her. [Washington Post]
  • Meanwhile, the depths this administration will sink to protect corporations at the expense of the environment never cease to amaze me. [The Guardian]

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Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

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This has been Barf Bag.