What Will Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's Baby Look Like?

Notably attractive and fecund humans Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively announced today that they are expecting a baby in early 2015. And the mad speculation has already begun: what will the baby look like?

Within hours of the pregnancy announcement, the reliably batshit Brit tabloid The Daily Mail presented the world with a morphed together version of RyBla’s faces, claiming that this is the visage of our future symmetrical baby overlord.

But we refuse to believe that the Reynolds-Lively baby would stoop to being so, uh, basic. Especially after all the work Blake (and her fans) has done to publicly insist that she is interesting. The lifestyle site. Anna Wintour’s dripping adoration.

That being said, we’ve come up with some better ideas about how the RyBla baby will look.

A handcrafted plow upcycled from excavated remains of a prairie school.
A pile of luxury towels.
An embossed invitation to Gwyneth Paltrow’s gluten free solstice party.
The photograph of a smiling family that comes inside of a frame when you buy it.
A champion Afghan Hound.
Unbleached cotton.
A $125 tee shirt with holes in it.
The premiere issue of Fetal Vogue featuring a 5,000 word interview with the fetus. (What have you been eating? You look great! Well, I’m trying to gain weight for this new role, so I get to have whatever nutrients from my mother’s blood that I want. I pee into my own amniotic fluid and then I drink the pee with my mouth. I’m disgusting.)
A golden retriever puppy that stays a puppy forever.
Chuck Bass.