What Was The Deal With J.Lo's Dress? And Other Uncharitable Questions Raised By Charity Gala

Samsung’s 9th Annual Four Seasons of Hope Gala at NYC’s Cipriani Wall Street is a benefit for children and families, which is terrific, and we can see why J.Lo, McConaughey, et al were there. But…why all the Real Housewives?

Tinsley Mortimer shows how to make an American ~~quilt~~ frock: a pinch of lavender, a dash of random, heavily battened with ugly.

Hannah Teter is a pro snowboarder, so I get that she wants to be comfy. There are other things that are still confusing, of course.

Camila Alves does the “molten-tar” thing, which hopefully is less painful than that sounds.

Olympic skater Sarah Hughes clearly invested in a verifiable LBD.

Selita Ebanks is – sorry, the shoes are too distracting. They look durable, at least.

Wendy Williams does – well, it’s hard to accuse her of “demureness,” exactly, and I think she’d consider that an insult. So let’s go with “simplicity.”

Kathy Griffin, too, is unusually subdued.

Jill Zarin likes to show that she’s in the fabric game: if she wants to waste a few yards by having them gratuitously pool on the floor to be stepped on, well, that’s her prerogative.

Dina Manzo, meanwhile, reps the Garden State with, if nothing else, glitz.

Jennifer Lopez appears to have painful nodes embedded in her skin, and those who consider these matters would be forgiven for invoking alien autopsies.