These two...
Image: Getty

Priyonas... or is it Nickopra... okay whatever their couple’s name is, Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas are indeed getting married, despite the fact that my brain still doesn’t fully register them as a couple. And of course the act of getting married includes a wedding registry, which Jonas and Chopra now have, and it is a fascinating peek into their domesticated life as a couple.

People reports on their registry, which is introduced as light Amazon spon-con; “there are such incredible things you can find under one roof,” Chopra says and I weep from the reminder that Amazon will now store such things so close to New York. The list includes your celebrity wedding basics like Jonathan Adler throw pillows, fancy dinner plates, expensive dog beds, and so on. But there are a few wild cards including:

  • A record player, because Chopra plays “everything from Ariana Grande to The Chainsmokers on my record player. It looks so cool. And every party with me ends up in a dance party. It just has to happen!” To which I say, no amount of vinyl production can make The Chainsmokers sound good but I digress.
  • A pair of rollerblades, because Chopra rollerbladed as a ’90s teen. “I wonder if Nick can rollerblade!” she wonders. I wonder too. I really wonder.
  • A Vitamix blender, which I admit is not too crazy of a wedding gift on its own, but seems more insane considering what Chopra thinks you can do with it. “My friends swear by it so I thought I should attempt it,” she tells People. “Nick and I don’t cook at all, but we both love eating!” Babe, it’s a blender. You can’t cook with it. Please obtain more items for your kitchen for sustenance, I beg of you.

This wedding is reportedly happening sometime soon after Thanksgiving. I wish them the best, as much as I can.