

Yesterday, in an interview in Sports Illustrated, Alex Rodriguez (Mr. Jennifer Lopez) shared his “Met Gala gossip.” He sat between Idris Elba and Donatella Versace, so you’d expect he’d have something good! But it was Kylie Jenner, from across the table, that caught his attention. As he recounts, “We had a great table. We had Kylie [Jenner] and Kendall [Jenner]. Kylie was talking about Instagram and her lipstick, and how rich she is.” It was an interesting anecdote, if not expected and slightly boring, until Kylie Jenner caught wind and responded with a “clapback.”
I can only imagine the phone call between their camps, because within an hour Alex Rodriguez issued the most deranged retraction I’ve seen since John Cusack blamed his failures on anti-Semitic bot hackers (last week!).
Some followup questions: What was the threat that sent Alex Rodriguez running? Did Kris Jenner place a call to NBC-Comcast-Universal and turn the heat up on the World of Dance stage? Did she threaten to leave negative reviews on his Shark Tank product’s Amazon listings? Is Alex Rodriguez keeping a secret from that night, and only Kylie Jenner knows the truth? Will an I Know What You Did Last Summer reboot starring the two debut in theaters early next spring? The further I look, the more this conspiracy spins wildly out of control! Thank god that we can tune in to Keeping Up With The Kardashian’s after their brief summer break for a heavily-redacted, overly-produced version of events that neatly places the blame on anyone but themselves!