Memes are the internet’s love language to the people; this fact does not change during a pandemic. As shelter-in-place orders continue indefinitely, the internet is reflected the mood of self-isolation in the form of the “choose your quarantine house” meme. According to the Washington Post, the quarantine house meme may have originated on Facebook with a focus on quarantining with groups of celebrities, but it’s also reminiscent of 2019's “where yall sittin,” which broke down anything and everything, but mostly celebrities, into cafeteria cliques. In the same way users were given the option of choosing a single table in the virtual cafeteria as a reflection of their identities, the choice is now which virtual quarantine house would be the most desirable to ride out the remainder of the shelter in place order.
At this point, these theoretical quarantine houses run the gamut from athletes to dead authors and even, for some reason, villains and fascist leaders. And while it’s impossible to choose between a fantasy house that includes, say, Ashlyn Harris and one with Simone Biles, we think it’s more interesting—and more reflective of our current predicament—to make a dreadful choice between lesser evils. As the entire Jezebel staff toils in isolation with only the internet to keep us company, we voted on some of the worst—or best, depending on how much you love Instagram DJ sets—internet trends to design six quarantine houses of absolute virtual torture. As I’ve heard several times in all of my online workouts, no pain no gain.
So, which quarantine house of annoying internet trends do you choose? Pick wisely, because once you enter the quarantine house of horrors the only way out is to do the one thing that seems to cause the most pain: Log the fuck off.