Wesleyan's Tour de Franzia Meltdown Reaches Ridiculous New Levels
LatestWesleyan University’s administration has decreed it a possibly equal or greater judicial offense to run around in a cape drinking boxed wine as it is to sexually harass or assault a fellow student.
Wesleyan can’t figure out how to stop students from participating in Tour de Franzia, the student-run “wine-fueled shit-show of a scavenger hunt” that traditionally occurs near the end of the school year. Last month, Dean Mike Whaley, the Vice President of Student Affairs, emailed every Wesleyan parent begging for their help “in talking with your student about the very real dangers associated with the event” — unfortunately, appealing to the guardians of adult students didn’t prove incredibly effective. Now, the administration has implemented a punishment system that makes participating in Tour de Franzia equal to some forms of sexual misconduct and assault.
According to campus blog Wesleying, administrators have instructed RAs to set up military-style checkpoints outside student dorms on the (still unknown) night of the Tour, emailed professors asking them to report any Tour-related information they overhear from students, and — most egregiously — promised to administer a minimum of six judicial points to students who don costumes and drink wine (or just hang out near people drinking wine) during the event. A threatening email from Dean Whaley to the Wesleyan community reads in part:
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