Were You Invited to Gwyneth Paltrow's Wedding This Weekend?

Illustration for article titled Were You Invited to Gwyneth Paltrow's Wedding This Weekend?
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Congratulations are in order for Gwyneth Paltrow and her fiancé Brad Falchuck, as they are reportedly getting married this weekend “at her home” in the Hamptons! This is great news for the two of them, as well as the “close friends and family” who will likely be in attendance. (Page Six is expecting 50, while Us Weekly predicts fewer than 20.)


As for me, I don’t really care! Paltrow is still out here using her platform to condescend to mothers who don’t have the time or money to fighting postnatal depression with more sleep, exercise, or a “period of regeneration.” Writes People:

Though she said, “they are lifesavers for certain people for sure,” Paltrow chose to search for alternative therapies.

Isn’t her use of “certain people” in this quote about depressants absolutely chilling? People with this kind of influence need to be more thoughtful about how they discuss medical issues and diagnoses to their adoring public. There are ways to share you experiences without resorting to vaguely classist commentary about the deeply complex and personal world of antidepressants.

Anyway, hope her wedding is a fucking blast!

[People / Page Six]

Remember how Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande adopted a pig and named it Piggy Smallz? Well, the pig is getting bigger. Davidson went on Late Night With Seth Meyers last night because he is suddenly one of the most sought-after celebrity guests in the country for reasons that sort of make sense but also sort of don’t. During their chat, the pig was brought up, after which Davidson said:

“This girl, like, she was like, ‘I want a pig.’ And then an hour later it was just there. You know what I mean? Like, I’m still trying, to get, like, a Propecia refill….This chick got a pig in a fucking hour. The first two days it was like really new and, like, didn’t move much. But then, now, it’s starting to bite and, you know, start to do stuff like [headbutt]. Because it’s a pig.”

I still don’t believe this wedding is gonna happen btw. It’ll keep getting pushed further and further down the line until we all forget they were ever engaged.

[E! Online]

After JWoww filed for divorce from her husband Robert Matthews, he uploaded this video to Instagram:


  • Jodie Sweetin opened up about her sexual assault after watching Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony. [People]
  • Oprah Winfrey will award Toni Morrison the Center for Fiction’s lifetime achievement honor for “Excellence in Fiction.” [Page Six]
  • Bobby Berk is ruining the reputation of Bobbys everywhere with this advice. [Celebitchy]
  • Don’t Care, Pt. 1 [E! Online]
  • Don’t Care, Pt. 2 [Bossip]

Staff Writer, Jezebel | Man


I used to do this every now and then but it’s been a couple years at this point.. so for old times’ sake, here is a list I’ve compiled of some of my all time favorite Gwyneth Paltrow quotes from over the years:

“I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.”

“When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat.”

“I don’t really have drunk friends. My friends are kind of adult…”

“I basically love anything that comes in a hot dog bun… except hot dogs.”

“I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-a-Soup.”

“Could I use some butter and cheese and eggs in my cooking without going down some kind of hippie shame spiral? Yes. Of course I could.”

“St. Marks Bookshop is in NYU territory and so it’s no surprise it stocks a bevvy of scholarly titles in Cultural Theory.”

“We’ve got a wood-burning pizza oven in the garden – a luxury, I know, but it’s one of the best investments I’ve ever made… One evening when I had my wood-burning stove going I realized I hadn’t thought of dessert.”

“Some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidneys. I’m so tired.”

“When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some restaurant because they get a kickback, it’s like, ‘No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris?’”

“One cold wintry day in London, I was dreaming about salad nicoise—one of my favorites.”

“I’ve found that the best hangover remedy can be a hot and cold spa treatment. The original would be the traditional Turkish Hamman, but you can find this kind of treatment at spas all over the world.”

“During the strict macrobiotic chapter of my life, I ate miso soup every day for breakfast and sometimes with dinner as well.”

“I first had a version of this at a Japanese monastery during a silent retreat—don’t ask, it’s a long story.”

“I had my first bowl of gazpacho when I was fifteen in Spain, and the impression it made was a lasting one.”

“I’m just a normal mother with the same struggles as any other mother…”

“I don’t hold on to fear as much as I used to, because I’ve learned a lot about genuinely not caring what strangers think about me. It’s very liberating. It’s very empowering, and I’ve learned a lot of that from Jay—Shawn Carter—Z.”

“Beauty fades! I just turned 29, so I probably don’t have that many good years left in me.”