Image: Instagram

Kensington Palace & co went balls-out on #RoyalWedding 3, an event aired on ITV (BBC passed) for the diehard royal fandom, at a reported $2.6 million expense to British taxpayers. They–or contingent advertisers or the tourism board or media or whatever–were determined that you will warm up to the idea of Princess Eugenie enough that you will purchase a Princess Eugenie and Mr. Jack Brooksbank official Royal Wedding commemorative cotton tea towel, and you will treasure it. But yeah, it worked, because it happened on Friday, and we’re still rehashing it.

Anyway, aside from the adorable revelation that 3-year-old Charlotte crosses her legs like her mom, not even the most granular post-show recaps could drum up some excitement for this one, not even for Miss Mia Tindall, bottom far left, who is also not buying what they’re selling.

But fine, here’s the full weekend review of Royal Wedding 3 so you can be absolutely certain you didn’t miss one. single. detail.:

  • All the photo details explained [The Sun]
  • Eugenie and Harry’s wedding portraits, compared [Daily Mail]
  • It was suggested that they “tone it down” (they did not) [Daily Mail]
  • George and Charlotte plotting... [Instagram]
  • Eugenie’s wedding reception dress [Celebitchy]
  • Old royal beef, revived [Daily Mail]
  • Eugenie got 50,000 new Instagram followers [Harper’s Bazaar]
  • And one more photo for you [People]

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  • England has Eugenie, America has Barbara Bush I guess. [People]
  • George Clooney introduced himself as “Amal Clooney’s husband,” which went over well at Variety’s Power of Women luncheon. [People]
  • Cardi B got a surprise party in LA where she was granted lots of presents but was also fucking hungry, and she said so. [E! Online]
  • Harry and Meghan’s plane was reportedly struck by lightning on their way to Australia, and everybody’s fine. [The Sun]