My name is Miss Sonia i saw your profile today on (freedating.co.uk) and became interested in you. l will also like to know you the more and l want you to send an email to my email address so l can give you my picture for you to know whom l am

You know, I bet we get this stuff because Laura Beck is constantly signing Jezebel up for all the things. I think she's trying to win some stupid online sweepstakes or something. She's keeps sending us all these e-blasts about coupons and special deals and shit. Goddamit, Laura. Look at the monster your greed has wrought.

Here is my e mail address [REDACTED. LIKE A BOSS.] I believe we can move from here.

Where are we going? Move from here? To like, a classier part of the Interwebs?

I am waiting for your mail to my email address above


Huh. Good tip! I mean, I was hoping for some inside the inner workings of Washington, D.C. type-scoops or exclusive sneak peeks into the secret lives of Hollywood big shots. But no, this is good too, I guess.