Watch Michael Lohan And Kate Major's Relationship Go Down In Flames

This most recent (and final) season of Celebrity Rehab went off the rails last night. Michael Lohan, father to Lindsay and patient at Casa del Rehab, blew a gasket when a tabloid website published a photo of himself kissing one of the lesser Real Housewives of New Jersey (Kim G.) When his famewhorey girlfriend-slash-drug supplier Kate Major found out, she showed up at the treatment facility — but Celebrity Rehab refused to check her in because she wasn't famous enough. Things got truly ugly when Kate asked, "So why are you with me?" and Michael said, "because you put it in every part of your body." Somehow, we believe her response: "I'm not even attracted to you! you're old, you're ugly, and you're bald." Since she dated Jon Gosselin before Lohan, it seems what she's attracted to are cameras and lights.

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Kat Callahan

You know who I feel sorry for? Lindsay's younger siblings. It's bad enough watching your older sister totally implode. Watching your parents do the same on national television is...

Yeah. I bet they sue for emancipation, change their names, and move to Albuquerque as soon as they hit 18. That's what I'd do.