Research shows that modern people who are either in or ISO relationships want partners who make their lives more interesting. How do you become interesting? It’s very easy: Just do things.
A New York Times article refers to this doing-stuff process as “self-expansion,” which involves learning and growing and changing. Like how butterflies do? Yes, sort of, except in the warm cocoon of a committed relationship. If you do something cool that you have passion for, then your partner might become inspired to do something cool that they have a passion for, and then you both have subjects to talk about over dinner. You can bounce ideas back and forth, and expose each other to new ideas, and grow together while growing individually. You can support each other’s self-expansion! Then it’s not selfish, but like a cyclical support network of two.
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