Venus Will Not Be Ignored, Dan!

Illustration for article titled Venus Will Not Be Ignored, Dan!
Photo: AP (AP)

Breaking news: men might not be from Mars, but women may be from Venus. Or at the very least we deserve to get first dibs on inhabiting the ruthless planet now that scientists are suggesting that it may show signs of life 

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The New York Times reports that astronomers have found the chemical phosphine in Venus’s atmosphere, concluding that the only way this could exist is because something is alive on this planet. If that sounds scary, don’t be afraid: Venus sounds like it was built just for women, not just because it’s named after the goddess of love and beauty. To start, the planet “roasts at temperatures of hundreds of degrees,” so it’s like a giant, deathly tanning bed in the sky. And wait, there’s also skincare because Venus is “cloaked by clouds that contain droplets of corrosive sulfuric acid.” Sign me up!

In astrology, the planet Venus guides romance and beauty in one’s life. In reality, it’s a flaming hellscape where any living creature intent on surviving must endure extreme conditions. So basically Earth, but brighter. Once you get past the whole “the plant literally melts metal” thing, seems like women will be fine. But why are astronomers and scientists, who’ve long thought Venus was inhabitable, suddenly discovering potential signs of life? Because apparently nobody has been paying attention to her giant, flaming Cheeto-dusted beauty. “Venus has been ignored by NASA for so long,” planetary scientist Sarah Stewart Johnson tells the New York Times. “It’s really a shame.”

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Venus will not be ignored, Dan. Not anymore!

Pop Culture Reporter, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

I mean it kinda makes sense why it hasn’t received as much attention as Mars Europa or Enceldus in the search for potential life between the sulfuric acid rain the scorching hot temperatures and the lack of any liquid water it doesn’t have any of the potential building blocks of life as we know it. The fact that the entire surface of Venus “recycles” itself every 50 million years or so (the surface of Venus the dinosaurs lived with is not the same as it is for us for context of how little time that is) definitely doesn’t help either.

Having said all that it's still the third best celestial body and the best planet- albeit no where near as cool as the dwarf planet Ceres :)