This suspicious image allegedly features a car spotted near Birmingham, England this week with the spray-painted message, "Is Pippa's Bum Still Better Than Mine???" Derek Bushell, a friend of the photographer, notes, "It's a slight overreaction because Pippa's bum is better than most women's. She just couldn't handle the truth by the looks of things." Sure, the only nutty thing about this is that the woman didn't admit Pippa does in fact have a better butt. Certainly if pop music has taught us anything, it's that when your man wrongs you in any way, destroying his car is the only reasonable response.
Okay, it looks really bad, but... what if she actually defaced the car with the paintbrush (or spraycan, I can't tell) clenched between her butt cheeks?
I mean, vandalizing someone's car is wrong and all, but I feel like the discipline, muscle control and coordination required to do all that with your ass would 1) mitigate the property damage and psychotic aspects of this somewhat, and 2) establish the vandal's rear end as the superior posterior.