Valley of the Jez: The (Mostly) Legal Drugs We Took to Get Through 2017

Image via Getty.
Image via Getty.

In our lives, many of us will go through periods when our natural coping mechanisms aren’t enough and so we turn to psychiatrists and doctors for the pharmaceutical tools (i.e. medications) we need to make it out alive. 2017 was definitely one of these times.


As you’ll find with any population, the Jezebel staff suffers from a variety of ailments ranging from depression and anxiety to hormonal acne to freaking ringworm (rare, but true)! Unlike all populations (sadly), we’re fortunate enough to have medical insurance that allows us to treat these issues head on.

And so, for the sake of honesty, destigmatization, community, and solidarity in the daily struggle, we’d like to give you a look into our medicine cabinets at a selection of medications and dosages that allows the Jezebel to cope. It’s like snooping around a bathroom at a party, only you have permission to do it!

Note: This list was composed anonymously with staffers voluntarily adding their information to a document. These are not the medications taken by one individual (who would probably be dead), but several. Please don’t think that we’re all taking each and every one of these medications everyday.

  • 125 mg of Sertraline daily (generic name for Zoloft) for anxiety. (User adds: “I don’t always think it works, but then I go off it for awhile and realize that it was actually working really well because my natural anxiety is unmanageable.”)
  • 150 mg of Bupropion daily (generic name for Wellbutrin) for depression. (User adds: “One of the best things that’s ever happened to me.”)
  • ~400 mg of ibuprofen weekly because shit hurts.
  • Weed pen with THC and CBD oil as needed.
  • 10 mg of Escitalopram (generic name for Lexapro) daily. (User adds: “I often self-diagnose 20 mg if I feel like I need it.”) (And adds further: I also am pretty sure I need to get something for anxiety)
  • Started smoking weed again this year after about 12 years of not (indica, from a pen)
  • 100 mg Sumatriptin (Imitrex), a migraine pill, as needed. (User adds: “Good.”)
  • 500 mg Naproxen tablets, for migraines as needed. (User adds: “It’s fancy Aleve.”)
  • Filled a prescription for 25 mg of Sertraline, but never used it.
  • .25 mg Xanax, as needed.
  • .025% Tretinoin cream nightly (User adds: “For wrinkles and hormonal acne!!!!”)
  • Aczone 7.5% Gel Pump morningly (User adds: “Just the acne this time!”)
  • Weed, weed, all kinds of weed, but mostly indica out of a pen for nighttime and a wide range of sativa for days I have to face the world, but not work. (User adds: “For stress and the continued burden of being alive.”)
  • 25 mg of Fluvoxamine daily
  • 100 mg of Buproprion daily
  • Vitamin D (User adds: “But I keep forgetting to take it.”)
  • Weed
  • Retinol (User adds: “To keep my face from looking ashen.”)
  • 10 mg of Escitalopram, an SSRI for anxiety and depression, every night at 10:30pm
  • 100mg Sumatriptin (generic for Imitrex) for migraines, as needed
  • Weed out of a bowl I bought in 2005, for sanity, general (weeklyish)
  • Differin for acne which I rudely still have as an adult. (User adds: “Can’t blame Trump for this, but it did come back during the election.”)
  • Steroid creams, various, none of which have worked, for eczema
  • Lotrimin, for ringworm. (User adds: “I got it at the gym and it refuses to go away.”)

Cheers and Happy New Year to the medical professionals and weed dealers who keep us all standing! (We do not advise that you drink while medicated.)


The Noble Renard

So we all agree pens are pretty great, right? Like... way less harsh, user-friendly, and not pointlessly psychedelic?