Vaccine Shipment Returned Because It Was Not Cold-As-Balls Enough

Illustration for article titled Vaccine Shipment Returned Because It Was Not Cold-As-Balls Enough
Image: Sean Rayford (Getty Images)

Thousands of vials of the Pfizer covid-19 vaccine have been sent back to Pfizer after a mishap occurred while the vials were being shipped to California and Alabama, the New York Post reports. The truck carrying the vaccines was storing them at a temperature of -80 degrees Celsius and, through what a rep called an “anomaly,” the temperature dropped down to -94, compromising the integrity of the vaccines on board. The vials never left the truck and were immediately returned to Pfizer, with new vials being sent to the intended location and at the right temperature.

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As I explained on Tuesday in extremely scientific terms, the vaccine must be kept cold as fuck in order to maintain its integrity and be viable. Any deviation from the extreme cold, even a deviation that makes it colder, risks the chemical structure of the vaccine. The levels to which the vaccine must be chilled are akin to that of Dippin Dots, the ice cream of the future, which is packaged, shipped, and delivered to theme parks and malls across America without losing its signature Dots shape.

Pfizer and the FDA are looking into how the change in temperature affected the vials overall but have not commented on whether they plan to just pop these vials onto Dippin Dots truck routes and call it a day. I, for one, think vaccination would be a more pleasant experience if we also got ice cream after the shot.

DISCUSSION

“The truck carrying the vaccines was storing them at a temperature of -80 degrees Celsius and, through what a rep called an “anomaly,” the temperature dropped down to -94, compromising the integrity of the vaccines on board.”

So it was actually TOO cold. I hear the Moderna vaccine (or maybe one of hte other vaccines that are in production) doesn’t have to be kept at such low temperatures. Whatever, I just want whatever will work.

Also, am I alone in hating dippin dots?  That’s just freezer burned cream.