How strong is your vagina? Can it shoot bullets and shatter steel with the sheer force of its gargantuan, mysterious strength? It’s a question that bothers me daily—mine can do neither! Gynecologist Dr. Jen Gunter asked the same question when she shared a 2017 Instagram post on Tuesday from “Vaginal Kung Fu expert” Kim Anami. In the post, Anami challenged the internet’s favorite gynecologist to a “vagina-off,” claiming Gunter’s frequent challenges of the “Yoni Egg” (made famous by Goop) were absolute bullshit. Predictably confused, I spent the better part of my morning unwrapping a beef too heavy to carry with my own vagina.
Nearly six years ago, an unknown sex expert posts “Vaginal Kung Fu Promo” on kimanami.com. In a supposed three-part video series (which I could find no trace of) she makes the claim that “healthy vaginas” can topple mountains, unseat tyrants, eject torpedoes, and hypnotically control the brain patterns of the modern man. And despite asking me to provide an email address for full access to the “seminar,” the hyperlink appeared to be broken. Sad!
Kim Anami posts a blog. She claims that her latest endeavor is a “global campaign to raise the awareness of vaginal superpowers.” Her plans include “traveling to different locales and shooting images of objects indigenous to the regions being lifted with my vagina.”
Buzzfeed posts a video in collaboration with Anami on how to be a “well-fucked” woman. In the video, which is the earliest mainstream coverage I could find of our pelvic powerlifter, she claims that her practice will strengthen a woman’s ability to “shoot ping pong balls across the room.” She repeatedly stresses that a “weak” vagina will “atrophy and go numb.” The video has almost 15,000,000 views. Buzzfeed added a disclaimer: “Kim Anami is not a medical professional. If you have questions, please ask your doctor before trying at home.”
In a blog nearly two years later, Kim Anami takes her shot at Dr. Gunter. Directly addressing the gynecologist, she “challenges” her to a “vagina-off.”
First things first. As the owner of the (second) strongest vagina in the world—you may have seen me and my vagina travel the planet, lifting objects and showing people what strong, empowered and happy vaginas can do—I need to school you in a few things jade egg. I’m a 20-year-committed practitioner and teacher of jade/yoni egg vaginal strengthening. You’ve come out with some correct and incorrect statements about jade eggs. Let’s “wield the lasso of truth”, as you like to say, and set things straight.
The lasso of truth then targets Dr. Gunter’s many public statements on the effectiveness of jade eggs. Specifically, Anami’s blog attacked the gynecologist’s blog addressed to Gwyneth Paltrow and her wellness empire, GOOP, which helped launch her to the forefront of the internet’s attention. I’ve listed my favorite of Anami’s “comebacks” below:
- “I have Tantric sex for hours—and I mean hours—on end. ?? Am I at risk for toxic shock?”
- “Image: Me and my Oscar-winning vagina on Hollywood Boulevard, symbolically standing on the star of Hedy Lamarr—because beauty, brains and vagina are where it’s at.”
- “Does your partner sterilize his penis before entering you?”
- “Wrong again.”
- “Most OBGYNs incorrectly tell their patients to randomly flap their vaginas in the wind, with nothing inside of their vaginas.”
- “Just because something hasn’t been “scientifically proven” doesn’t mean it doesn’t work.”
- “I am so confident of the phenomenal results that will be shown, I’m willing to bet $100,000- that my vaginas will surpass yours in all of these areas: Orgasms, Natural lubrication, Ejaculation, Sexual pleasure and sensation, Overall rejuvenation of sex lives and thus their relationships/marriages, Libido, reversal of urinary stress incontinence, Improvement in PMS, difficult periods and menopause.”
Footage not found.
Nearly two years later, Dr. Jen Gunter discovers Kim Anami’s “vagina-off.”
As Dr. Gunter later admits,
“Apparently, this person and her squad don’t know I am a doctor and think it is hilarious I haven’t responded. But as I wasn’t tagged, I am pretty sure my answer wasn’t really wanted.”
Looking back at my time with her—I feel bad for Kim Anami! She spent the better part of a decade inserting decorative lamps into her vagina at various global hotspots and shouting at the void. But like most internet feuds involving an Instagram post and a “wellness” blogger, the results rarely satisfy. At least she had her ping-pong ball party trick!
In hopeful news, the famous adjacent “sex expert” was last seem unscrewing bottle caps with her extremely large and muscular vagina. Thirsty, Kim?