Unlike You, Rihanna Is A Fan Of Chris Brown's Music And Doesn't Wish Ill Upon Him

Rihanna wears some tiny strips of seaweed on the November cover of Esquire, and inside, says of Chris Brown: “It’s incredible to see how he pulled out the way he did. Even when the world seemed like it was against him, you know?” She also complimented his work: “I really like the music he’s putting out. I’m a fan of his stuff. I’ve always been a fan.” And despite the fact that he punched her in the face and split her lip, RiRi says: “I would never wish anything horrible for him. Never. I never have.” [Esquire, AP, Sandra Rose]

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You guys, I have watched this animation over and over and I cannot figure out what the hell is going on. Does Beyoncé‘s baby bump “deflate,” as the post claims? Is it just an optical illusion? Is it just the way the fabric folds? Is it a wrinkle in time? A tesseract? What is happening and why do we care so much??? [Juicy]

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Unsolicited Uterus Update! Jessica Simpson is preparing to announce that she is pregnant. Which involves, uh, being pregnant and clearing her throat? I don’t know. [Radar]

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Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore went on a Kabbalah camping retreat over the weekend, during which Ashton apologized to his wife for being a cheater and a jerk, since it was Yom Kippur. Sitting on twigs must have brought them closer together, because Ashton actually tweeted at Demi, wishing her good luck on her breast cancer documentary, which aired last night. She did not respond. [Daily Mail]
“Hey, what did you do today?” “I worked, then I went to the drug store, then I got a love note to Ashton Kutcher tattooed on my back.” “Hahaha!” “No, really.” “Um…” [E!]

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• Kanye West visited Occupy Wall Street yesterday and interrupted to say that the March On Washington was the greatest protest of all time. [NYDN]
• A SWAT team raided the set of Brad Pitt‘s movie World War Z yesterday. It seems the props for the flick — AK-47s and sniper rifles — had actual ammunition in them. Yikes. [London Evening Standard]
• Shocker: Lil Wayne used to be addicted to sizzurp. ]TMZ]
• Shocker: Weezy has a little Louis Vuitton purse. [TMZ]
• You probably haven’t been wondering what Mischa Barton has been up to, but just FYI: She’s been posing with raw meat. [E!]
• Denzel Washington went clubbing in a track suit. [TMZ]
• Let us salute pop star Rain, who has officially joined the South Korean army. [OMG!]
• Breaking: Johnny Depp tripped and fell down. [Contact Music]
• Lady Gaga shot a video on Staten Island and had to kick some little monsters off the set. [Gatecrasher]
• Jonah Hill, who lost 40 lbs., has broken up with his girlfriend. They went to high school together, and as this writer puts it, she “loved him before he got rich and slim.” [Janet Charlton’s Hollywood
• Sharon Stone is starring in a low-budget Mexican movie called The Mule. [Janet Charlton’s Hollywood]
• ‘It’s Time To Watch Arnold Schwarzenegger Fondling His Own Ass.” [TMZ]
• “Throughout my career, I’ve always portrayed characters that were humorous, but also weren’t afraid to speak their minds, especially when it came to racy or controversial topics. I think this struck a chord with the LGBT community. We both also share a very strong love for animals. When you combine the two, it’s a very strong match.”— Betty White says gays luuuuv critters. Honey badgers and unicorns and bears, oh my! [ONTD via Advocate]