Tiffany Haddish posted a video of Perry, who’s currently directing her on the movie Nobody’s Fool, explaining that it’s okay to “spend a little” [$80,000] [on a Tesla] and then holds up a gift box containing two scarab-like objects [keys?] [for a Tesla] and then walks out to reveal a Tesla [a PRESENT] [a Tesla!!!!!!!!!!] parked in the driveway with a giant bow on it. (Haddish famously doesn’t spend money on excessive shit, and when she has to, she’ll get maximum mileage out of it with Febreze; basically she totally deserves this car). The gift Tesla is not that surprising coming from Perry, a one-time used car salesman who now owns a house with a 30-car parking lot, and who has given a van to a church whose van was stolen, a van to a woman with cerebral palsy whose car was stolen, a car for family with child born without kidneys whose car was wrecked, and Bentleys for Oprah and Gayle (one for each), for no reason.

Enlightenment is Cardi B loving life in a head towel.

1) This is a Twitter windfall 2) Meghan Duchess of Sussex is absolutely turning on the British accent 3) because if you have to make small talk all day while sober, then whatever gets you through the bloody day!

• Justin Bieber’s wooly friend has crept away. [Page Six, Sources]
• Also Tiffany Haddish’s litigious ex-husband with a lot to offer didn’t ask her for a retraction before filing a libel suit against claims made in her book, which is a requirement for winning a libel suit. [TMZ]
• TMZ has noticed that Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger are not divorced after seven years. [TMZ]
• Actor and American Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee suggests you talk about the mid-term elections and not the 34-year age gap with her fiancé. [People]
• 📣Kardashians are multiplying. [Page Six]
• Mariahhhh. [Inquisitr]