It’s 2005. K-Fed is in the news again, and Paris Hilton is at Pure Night Club with her assistant Kim Kardashian and DJ Caroline D’Amore. Audrina Patridge and Kristin Cavallari are screaming at each other over Justin Bobby. Isn’t it great to be back?
Obviously it is not 2005, it’s 2020, which is demonstrably worse. But in a somewhat shocking twist, recently divorced reality television menace Kristin Cavallari is apparently posted up with ex-boyfriend Stephen Colletti, 15 years after they starred together in Laguna Beach. I feel like I’ve fallen through a time vortex.
On Instagram, Cavallari wrote: “2004, or 2020?!”
For those lucky enough to have missed Laguna Beach, Colletti was famously at the center of Lauren Conrad and Cavallari’s obviously staged rivalry. In Cavallari’s book, Balancing in Heels—of which I am among the dozens to have read—she wrote, “One of the most hurtful things [Laguna Beach] did was pressure Stephen to spend time with another girl from the show, Lauren, while he and I were dating,” saying that it “affected me deep” and made her feel “threatened.” Years later, Conrad would find herself in exile from Laguna Beach on spin-off The Hills, and in 2007, she and Colletti allegedly hooked up at a nightclub months after his breakup with Hayden Panettiere. In 2008, he even starred in a one-off episode of The Hills.
Anyway, Cavallari has since made it pretty clear that her “feud” with Conrad was, in actuality, MTV’s manipulation of some impressionable Orange County teenagers. Curiously, her hairstylist Justin Anderson—fellow reality television goblin and the man who spent a month in the Bahamas amid the pandemic—commented on her post: “Oh lord. Here come the internet rumors.” You have to admire his loyalty, however clueless. Her reality television show is canceled, and she has no publicly announced creative projects on the calendar. Kristin Cavallari knew exactly what she was doing when she posted this! And here I am, falling for it.