Trump's Tiny Fingers Got Squished to Hell By a Frenchman

Gif via YouTube.

For months, we’ve watched Donald Trump inflict his weird handshakes on world leaders, tugging and grimacing like a confused but dominant sheepdog sitting on its owner’s face in the middle of the night.


On Thursday morning, however, a pool report from Trump’s Brussels meeting with newly-elected French president Emmanuel Macron indicated that the tides had perhaps changed:

The two presidents, each wearing dark suits and blue ties (Trump’s was thick and royal blue; Macron’s was skinny and navy) sat in antique cream-upholstered arm chairs, with two American and French flags behind them.They shook hands for an extended period of time. Each president gripped the other’s hand with considerable intensity, their knuckles turning white and their jaws clenching and faces tightening.

Folks, let’s take a look:

As you can see, at 0:18 Trump pokes his hand towards Macron, whose own fingers, though not large, were—how do you say—prêt. The two made pained, prolonged eye contact as Trump flopped around in the handsome 39-year-old’s iron grip, before eventually retreating to safety. POTUS, brutally cucked for all to see, looked as though he had swallowed a fork.

One more time, everybody:

This has been a really fun trip, I think.

UPDATE: The situation seems to have escalated!

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.


Sobchak Security

He is literally everything the GOP claims to hate.

Rich, connected New York real estate media personality. No real religion, no real values, no respect for the rule of law and our intelligence community… And he’s a wimpy little cuck to boot. Shit, he couldn’t even sell Americans red meat, booze, football and gambling. And now he’s getting beaten by a liberal Frenchman! In a thumb wrestling battle!

But he’s pretty racist so that’s good enough to cancel out all the rest.