Trump to North Korea: Our Military Is 'Locked and Loaded'

Welcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

I dunno, man. Shit is fucked up.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• Donald Trump, harbinger of death, fire, and fury, again threatened North Korea with military action. “If he utters one threat in the form of an overt threat… or if he does anything with respect to Guam or anyplace else that’s an American territory or an American ally, he will truly regret it,” Trump said from New Jersey, where he is on a 17-day vacation. “And he will regret it fast.” He also tweeted that “military solutions are now fully in place, locked and loaded, should North Korea act unwisely.” Great. [Politico]
  
• Wall Street analysts are now trying to figure out what will happen to the markets in the event of an all-out nuclear war. [WSJ]
  
• Former President Obama will return to national politics this fall because, let’s be honest, Democrats still haven’t gotten their shit together. [The Hill]
  
• The Trump presidency has been good for Trump hotels, which turned a $2 million profit in four months. [Washington Post]
  
• The majority of companies seeking exemptions for Obamacare’s birth control mandate are not, in fact, religious nonprofits. [Vox]
  
• A new poll finds that former Alabama Supreme Court chief justice Roy Moore, perhaps most famous for refusing to remove a 10 Commandments monument and barring other judges from issuing same-sex marriage licenses, is the top candidate in the Republican primary election to fill Attorney General Jeff Sessions’s vacant seat. [TPM]
  
• Behold: Mike Pence’s official portrait. [TheHill]
• And no, his website didn’t get hacked. [NYMag]
  

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.