Trump Says He Was 'Brilliant' to Thwart a Bad Tax System

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Donald Trump—the bewigged swollen gallbladder who is somehow still a contender for president of the United States—thinks that his ability to thwart the country’s tax system emphasizes his ability to be a great president.


CNN reports that Trump has addressed the release of his taxes at rallies, arguing that defeating a bad system doesn’t make him corrupt, but “brilliant.” In fact, it’s lucky for us that he knows how to weasel out of paying taxes, because he’ll marshal those same skills as president!

“I’m working for you now — I’m not working for Trump,” he said at a rally in Pueblo, Colorado.

Having declared almost $1 billion in losses in 1995, Trump could have legally avoided paying income taxes for the next 18 years. According to Trump, he was just doing what was best for business.

“It’s my job to minimize the overall tax burden,” he explained.

Then, as he is so wont to do, Trump got a bit cocky.

“I have legally used the tax laws to my benefit...Honestly, I have brilliantly used those laws.”


In the meantime, Trump still refuses to release his federal income tax returns. The New York Times did not receive this material, but only one page of his New York State resident income tax returns and a page of New Jersey and Connecticut nonresident returns. He accuses the media of an “obsession” with his taxes, although he is the first presidential nominee since 1976 to withhold them.

Trump also claims that, in fact, he pays a wide array of taxes.

“I face enormous taxes — city, state, sales, excise, employee, federal, VAT, different countries,” he listed at the Pueblo rally. So maybe we should just give him a break on the income tax, eh?


Trump’s supporters were certainly on board, cheering after he remarked, “I must tell you, I hate the way they spend our tax dollars.”

And as he told the American people when he took to Twitter on Sunday morning, nobody—but nobody—understands taxes like he does. We’ll be lost without him, Our Savior Donald.


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