Trump Reportedly Complains About the Russia Probe 20 Times a Day, Which Seems Like a Lot?

Illustration for article titled Trump Reportedly Complains About the Russia Probe 20 Times a Day, Which Seems Like a Lot?
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You might think a president who is VERY BUSY solving all the world’s problems wouldn’t have time to worry about a VERY FAKE investigation into his administration’s connection to Russian oligarchs, but it appears Donald Trump is a real multitasker. Indeed, our fair president reportedly complains about Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia probe as much as 20 times a day, which certainly must cut into his TV time something fierce. I do hope someone’s taping his stories!


On Sunday, the Washington Post reported that Trump’s team is preparing for an all-out legal war with Mueller’s investigation, which has thus far claimed former Trump allies like Paul Manafort and Michael Flynn, and recently implicated Trump attorney Michael Cohen. Though Trump and his yes men have long argued the president will come out of the investigation unscathed, per WaPo’s report, I’m not sure this is the behavior of someone with nothing to worry about:

The president vents to associates about the FBI raids on his personal attorney Michael Cohen — as often as “20 times a day,” in the estimation of one confidant — and they frequently listen in silence, knowing little they say will soothe him. Trump gripes that he needs better “TV lawyers” to defend him on cable news and is impatient to halt the “witch hunt” that he says undermines his legitimacy as president. And he plots his battle plans with former New York mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, his new legal consigliere. 

It sounds....just a little Trump might be freaking out? Like, when you sense a friend is angry with you, so you keep asking them, “Are you mad at me?” and they say no, even though you KNOW that they are, but you’re just trying to needle them into finally telling you so you can get to the apologizing part? On the other hand, his memory seems not so great, so it’s possible he keeps bringing up the Russia investigation because he can’t remember ranting about it ten minutes ago, but, you know. It’s on his mind.

It’s also noteworthy that Trump wants to replace his “TV lawyers” with Giuliani, best known of late for giving away everyone’s secrets on national television, which can’t possibly be a good legal move, but will certainly make blogging a lot more fun! Giuliani told WaPo he and Trump are on the “same wavelength,” i.e., the wavelength of people who mattered somewhat to New York City in the 1990s and should have subsequently sunk to the bottom of the Earth, but for the fact that we missed the Rapture.

Meanwhile, Trump aides told WaPo they’re worried Jared Kushner and Donald Trump, Jr., will soon be swept up in the investigation (someone warn Kimberly), and that they’re surprised at the speed with which Mueller’s moved the probe, though it’s not clear when it’ll wrap up, or with what result. “Everyone seems resigned to just buckle up and get through whatever we’ve got to get through for it to reach its conclusion,” a White House official told the paper, though perhaps by then Trump will have driven himself straight to madness, who knows!




So,lemme get this right:

He’s upset about the Russia investigation,which has been going on all of,what,14 months,but the stupid Benghazi investigation went on for like four YEARS,and the even stupider Hillary/email thing went on for two years (both cases,no one was indicted),yet around 23 people HAVE been indicted for the Russia thing.

...and it’s a “witch hunt”.