How do you guys think Kim Jong Un spent his day today?
Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
- If you were surprised by Trump’s decision yesterday to threaten North Korea with “fire and fury,” well, so were his advisors, who have proven themselves utterly incapable of containing even his most dangerous outbursts. In fact, that list of talking points in front of Trump was about the opioid crisis—but apparently he thought to himself, you know what? I want to say a huge thing, make the people go ‘wow’! Make the world go ‘boom’! [New York Times]
- Guess what: “God has given Trump the authority to take out Kim Jong Un,” says an evangelical nutbag who happens to advise the president. [Washington Post]
- Trump also casually lied about the state of our nuclear weapons stockpile this morning. [New York Times]
- On the cutting room floor of New Yorker reporter Ryan Lizza’s incredible interview with the dearly departed Anthony Scaramucci was an indication that Vice President Mike Pence is doing the one thing Trump is not supposed to know he’s doing—preparing for a post-Trump White House. “Why do you think Nick’s there, bro?” Scaramucci asked Lizza, referring to Pence chief-of-staff Nick Ayers, a campaign veteran with no government experience. “Why is Nick there? Nick’s there to protect the Vice-President because the Vice-President can’t believe what the fuck is going on.” Pence, for his part, called a New York Times report that he’s prepping for 2020 “laughable and absurd” as well as “disgraceful and offensive.” [New Yorker]
- Trump and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell are trading swipes after McConnell publicly complained of Trump’s “excessive expectations” of Congress. Or it could just be two of those dinosaurs dying in the mud in Fantasia exhaustedly smacking at each other, I can’t be sure. [Politico]
- How low can he go, man? [Politico]
Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:
This has been Barf Bag.