Well, Bloc Party was right: The girls are fighting.
Two of the bitchiest men on the internet—failed dictator Donald Trump and the world’s no. 1 wealth hoarder, Elon Musk—are very publicly feuding on social media. And considering we are truly living through the end of times, I’ll take my entertainment where I can get it.
On Tuesday evening, Trump took to Truth Social and, for lack of better words, absolutely ethered Musk, mocking the Tesla CEO for allegedly begging him for help building his “electric cars that don’t drive long enough,” his “driverless cars that crash,” and his Space-X vessels that go “nowhere.” He said Musk was “worthless” without government subsidies from the Trump administration, and to top it all off, claimed he “could have said drop to your knees and beg and [Musk] would have done it.” The scathing, vaguely homoerotic diss track was made all the more brutal by an accompanying photo of the now estranged besties posing and smiling together in the Oval Office.
As someone who has dedicated my life, and certainly my career, to cyber-bullying Musk, all I can say is wow. I won’t be commenting further, so as to not inadvertently compliment a literal, unapologetic fascist.
In an almost pitiful attempt to save face and not come across as, god forbid, mad, Musk responded to Trump’s post later that evening with a tragic “Lmaoo.” When it comes to being publicly owned to this extent, Musk’s options were to either simply ignore Trump, treating the former president as too insignificant to even engage with, or respond in kind with an even more devastating verse of his own. But something about Musk’s complete inability to thoughtfully assemble words on social media—ever-rewarded by legions of doting fanboys and bots who will lavish praise upon his geriatric dank memes, nonetheless—made the latter option impossible. The former option was rendered equally impossible by Musk’s inability to know when to shut the fuck up.
In any case, the two chronic shit-posters have actually been feuding for longer than you might think. This most recent dogfight comes after Trump, at a weekend rally in Alaska, called Musk a “bullshit artist” for saying his first time voting for a Republican was in June for Mayra Flores, when Musk previously told the former president he’d voted for him. Trump also called Musk’s whole Twitter debacle “a mess”—true! Musk officially backed out of the deal this week, and is now being sued by the company to complete the $44 billion deal.
Musk responded to Trump’s weekend remarks by tweeting on Monday that he doesn’t “hate the man,” but “it’s time for Trump to hang up his hat & sail into the sunset,” and that was honestly Musk’s mistake—did he really think a man who once used Twitter to incite an insurrection was going to take that lying down??
Long before any of this, the two men’s respectful if not amicable relationship apparently began to deteriorate when Musk endorsed Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis over Trump for president in 2024 earlier this year. Trump reportedly views DeSantis as his top rival for power and control within the Republican Party, and has allegedly gone so far as to bitch about DeSantis being a snake in private. Rolling Stone reports that upon learning Musk had endorsed DeSantis, Trump privately called Musk “an idiot.”
As early as April this year, Trump reportedly mocked Musk for being “sloppy”—a common Trumpian insult—as well as Musk’s 2018 pot-smoking bit on Joe Rogan’s podcast. In May, Trump correctly predicted the Twitter acquisition would fall through on Truth Social: “There is no way Elon Musk is going to buy Twitter at such a ridiculous price, especially since realizing it is a company largely based on BOTS of Spam Accounts. Fake anyone?”
Overall, not a great week for Musk, left desperate enough to try to change the subject by tweeting a Hunter freaking Biden meme on Wednesday afternoon—like, we are talking Fox News-whenever-the-Jan.-6-hearings-are-on levels of desperate. And, I get it: The self-styled role model for alpha males across the internet was just very publicly spanked, and by Trump, who is about the furthest person imaginable from a hot girl. Twitter is coming for his broke ass. At this point, Musk is possibly the only billionaire in the world I wouldn’t trade places with.