Trump Administration Kills Michelle Obama's Girls' Education Program, Anti-Childhood Obesity Plan

Relax, snowflakes! The administration would simply prefer to direct our limited funds toward their favored demographic of rich elderly men.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• The Trump administration is discontinuing Let Girls Learn, a program created by Michelle and Barack Obama to help educate adolescent girls in developing countries. They’re also unwinding Michelle Obama’s nutritional requirements for school lunches, a program that was aimed at confronting childhood obesity. “Pro-children” is apparently a lefty stance now? [CNN, Washington Post]
• “People don’t realize, you know, the Civil War, if you think about it, why?” the president told the Washington Examiner yesterday. “People don’t ask that question, but why was there the Civil War? Why could that one not have been worked out?” [ABC News]
• Meanwhile, Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross told the Milken Institute Global Conference today that the April 6 strike on Syria was “in lieu of after-dinner entertainment.” [Variety]
• Here’s a nice, satisfying list of all the budget concessions the Art of the Deal author was forced to make. [Washington Post]
• Here’s another terrifying article about Marine Le Pen, you are so welcome! [The Guardian]
• “Other than golf, [Trump] considers exercise misguided, arguing that a person, like a battery, is born with a finite amount of energy.” [The New Yorker]
• Something wonderful has happened to Jared Kushner’s head. [The Cut]

Here are some tweets that the president was allowed to publish:

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