Illustration for article titled Top Dog Chefs Prepare the Most Vile of Canine Delicacies — Rabies Froth and Discarded Egg Shells

Creepy dog makeup notwithstanding, last night's "Top Dog Chef" on SNL showed just how ridiculous dogs really are. How stupid do you have to be to flip out whenever the doorbell rings or eat a sock? Dog stupid, that's how stupid, and you can bet that if dogs had hands as well as sophisticated reasoning skills, they'd take a hard look in the mirror and think to themselves, "I'm a mess — I don't blame Master for making me sleep in the nightmare box."


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