Is your heart pure? Would you fight for your one true love, your crab dinner?
A brawl reportedly broke out at the Meteor Buffet in Huntsville, Alabama on Friday, as customers hungrily awaited the return of beloved crab legs from their interminable pots and pans battle in the restaurant kitchen.
Huntsville police officer Gerald Jonshon told WHNT 19 News on Tuesday, “Literally, as I sat down and maybe took two bites out of my plate, there’s a woman who’s beating a man. People are moving around, plates are shattering everywhere.” He claims he saw dining establishment patrons fencing with what appeared to be tongs. Fencing to the bitter end with tongs over some imminent crab legs and one’s honor is a great privilege of the human experience—nonetheless, the cop was concerned.
Ultimately, police arrested John Chapman and Chequita Jenkins. Johnson said that the two had “been waiting there for the crab legs for a good 10, 20 minutes. When they finally came out, it’s very heated. Especially if someone is taking more than their fair share.” Jenkins was reportedly enjoying the spoils of crab war—a buffet dinner with her kids—when she was apprehended.
According to Johnson, both Chapman and Jenkins admitted they’d lost their tempers. Jenkins was charged with third-degree assault while Chapman is facing a disorderly conduct charge. They have also both been ordered to pay fines.
They did it for the crab.