Image via Getty.

Your ex internet boyfriend Tom Hiddleston returns to his alma mater, the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts (RADA), this weekend for a three-week run of Hamlet, as directed by Kenneth Branagh. Unfortunately for Hiddleston and Shakespeare fans alike, tickets were sold via lottery and are already gone. When sorrows come, they come not single spies. But in battalions...of sold out shows fundraising for a well-known London performance arts school.

According to previews, Hiddleston—who, these days, is often seen soliloquizing and speaking to skulls among the cold, damp recesses of the Tumblr archives (alas, poor pre Taylor Swift life! I knew him, Horatio)—excels as the troubled Danish prince, with the Guardian describing the production as a thrilling “grief Hamlet” (as opposed to the happy Hamlet?), with an “extraordinary” performance by the lead actor.

It’s not hard to believe. After all, Hiddleston is a classically trained actor (thanks, RADA!) who shares with Hamlet an almost uncomfortable-yet-sympathetic earnestness and sense of regret. (Plus, have you ever heard him recite “Bright Star” by John Keats? Not from the Shakespearian era, I KNOW, but it’ll give you chills.)

Coincidental that this performance overlaps with a New York production of Hamlet starring Oscar Isaac. Much like during the Revolutionary War, the United States and Great Britain findthemselves going head to head, American internet bae against British internet bae, treading the boards of our countries’ most prestigious theaters.