Tom Ford Has Designed an Ornamental Crucifix-Dick

Because doing edgy fashion-things involving genitals will never go out of style, Tom Ford has designed some cross-shaped necklaces that, upon closer inspection, reveal themselves to be phalluses. Penises as religious icons: just what this world is lacking.

According to David Nicholls at the Telegraph, Ford unveiled a “triptych of todgers” — which is British English for “three dick necklaces of various sizes” — at his recent menswear show. As the star of that collection was meant to be butt-flattering jeans, the “todgers” were “tucked away in a glass-topped cabinet like some sort of museum exhibit.” But, you know, a possibly controversial penis-shaped thing can’t avoid the spotlight for long.

As Nicholls points out, there are bound to be people who think that the design just happens to be a weirdly globular, circumcised cross-shape “with no phallic connotations at all.” Yeah, maybe that argument would fly if Ford hadn’t already designed penis jewelry for YSL in 2002. With him, I think, we are safe in assuming that a globular penis-lookin’ accessory is no mere coincidence.

I would not completely mind if this became a big trend, especially if it replaces the bucket hat has the hot new menswear accessory; however, as far as genital-jewelry goes, I still prefer Grimes’s (much more affordable) vagina rings.