Tom Cruise Saves the Movie Industry by Berating Mission Impossible Crew Over a Covid-19 Breach

Illustration for article titled Tom Cruise Saves the Movie Industry by Berating Mission Impossible Crew Over a Covid-19 Breach
Image: ANDREA PATTARO/AFP (Getty Images)

Tom Cruise, an ex-husband and actor with no redeemable qualities, was recorded berating crew members on set of Mission: Impossible 7 in the U.K. for allegedly breaking covid-19 protocols, according to The New York Times. U.K. tabloid The Sun reported that Cruise went off after noticing two crew members standing close to one another at a computer screen, violating a six-feet-apart social distancing rule.

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“We want the gold standard. They’re back there in Hollywood making movies right now because of us!” Cruise screamed a self-important scream, “Because they believe in us and what we’re doing!”

“That’s it. No apologies. You can tell it to the people that are losing their fucking homes because our industry is shut down,” he continued. “We are not shutting this fucking movie down. Is it understood? If I see it again, you’re fucking gone.”

I’m not sure the Mission Impossible franchise is the reason Hollywood will live to see another day, but go off, short king! Perspective, who needs it?

Look, I appreciate that he’s taking covid-19 precautions super seriously—I too have to fight back the urge to scream at mask-less people on the street, but I know that screaming only emboldens them to do bigger, more dangerous stupid things—it’s not an effective tool for getting a point across.

...Unless it worked for Cruise, then fine, whatever. All I know is that if Tom Cruise shrieked at me, I would simply burst into laughter. He’s not my dirtbag dad, dude, and yelling just makes him look like the Bagel Boss man from Summer 2019. You know the one.

But if screaming a self-righteous, Scientology-emboldened scream actually got the crew in line, I suppose there’s some merit to his actions. I’m conflicted. [The New York Times]

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Illustration for article titled Tom Cruise Saves the Movie Industry by Berating Mission Impossible Crew Over a Covid-19 Breach
Image: Tommaso Boddi (Getty Images)
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Yikes. Love & Hip Hop’s Moniece Slaughter paid The Domenick Nati Show a visit, where she discussed having a secret relationship with Shaq—and just how pissed he was when she revealed their affair, publicly, a few weeks ago. According to Bossip, Slaughter alleges that Shaq heard she was gossiping about them, and told her to “go kill” herself.

“You know what’s crazy? I hadn’t spoken to him in forever and he texted to go kill myself. I think what happened was a lot of his current hookers was upset and he tried to prove himself, like….ugh,” she said.

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In a previous conversation with Nati, Slaughter said Shaq “broke it off with me because I was asking too many questions. He doesn’t want to be questioned. He does not like to be cornered... We’re still good friends. We haven’t spoken in a minute just with everything that’s going on in the world… but I do know that if I ever really, really needed him, he’d be there… I think he and I are also better off as friends.” Clearly, something has changed. Not cool.

[Bossip]


  • Social media personality Nathan Apodaca, a.k.a. DoggFace, the man best known for skateboarding along to Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” while chugging cran-raspberry juice, has tested positive for coronavirus. “The show must go on,” he wrote on TikTok. [The Los Angeles Times]
  • Sandra Lee is outta that house she shared with Andrew “Covid” Cuomo, baby! [Hollywood Life]
  • Jake Paul has been sued by a man named Gabriel Dos Santos, who alleges Paul’s crew beat the shit out of him while removing him from Paul’s post-boxing match after party. [TMZ]
  • Tristan Thompson is dating wicked broads after moving to Boston. [Hollywood Life]
  • Matthew McConaughey, enjoy your new life on the right, dumbass. [Just Jared]
  • One Direction zaddy Zayn Malik is blonde again, happy holidays to us all. [E! Online]

URL: Senior Writer, Jezebel. IRL: Author of the very good book 'LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands from NKOTB to BTS,' out now.

DISCUSSION

Tom Cruise sucks but also I appreciate that he’s taking this seriously.