I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. This isn’t what I wanted to show you all on a Friday morning, but it’s all I have to work with. Though typically lush rainforests of celebrity news, my treasured gossip sites are deserts this morning, and the only two creatures clinging to life on their cracked earth are Ryan Cabrera and Avril Lavigne. Yes, my friends, they are probably dating, and Page Six has the scoop.
Let’s set the scene, shall we? It’s a hot summer night on New York’s Coney Island. The former teen heartthrob (is that even accurate?) Ryan Cabrera, “wearing a tank from Lavigne’s clothing line,” is getting ready to perform in front of some people who may or may not have paid for the privilege. A reporter from Page Six approaches him and asks something along the lines of, “TMZ published a story about you gettin’ all lovey dovey with Avril Lavigne. Are you seeing her or not?” Cabrera responds:
“I see lots of people!”
Perhaps the two of them laugh. Perhaps the two of them share a moment of silence. Whatever the case, our hero keeps talking:
“Not in that way … I don’t mean like I see lots of people like that. It was a joke. Nowadays I tend to keep all love life stuff just completely separate just because you know how it is. You try to keep it private as much as you can.”
Understandably confused, the Page Six reporter reaches out to Cabrera’s publicist (someone has that job?) and asks for some clarity. The publicist (do we think it’s just Ryan himself?) responds:
“While we appreciate the interest in Ryan’s endeavors, at this time, we have no comment regarding TMZ’s latest report about Ryan’s personal life.”
“While we appreciate the interest” is warming my heart ever so slightly. Congrats to the potentially happy alleged couple!
Just so you know, this is why celebrity gossip is so bad today:
Please look at this photo of Kit Harrington.
- When Jezebel’s Managing Editor Kate Dries sends her almost-nightly email with links for potential Dirt Bag items, she never adds a subject line. Last night, she did. It read: “The lamest feud.” [People]
- I have said this before, but it’s worth repeating: we don’t deserve Rihanna. [E!]
- Or maybe because Jenny Slate is very funny and famous in her own right, STAR MAGAZINE! [Celebitchy]
- “Love Child” pt. 1 [Radar Online]
- “Love Child” pt 2 [Radar Online]