TLC to Air My Husband's Not Gay, About Gay Mormon Men Married to Women

"Well I'm interested in men, I'm just not interested in men."

This January, The Learning Channel is set to air My Husband Is Not Gay," a show that features openly gay Mormon men who date and marry women. Apply palm directly to forehead. The show features three men who are supposedly happily married to women despite being gay and one single gay dude, looking for a nice woman to settle down with.


The very existence of this series indicates the need to address the general bigotry surrounding a man understanding his sexuality as a hindrance, something to "overcome" with faith in god, and forcing himself into a relationship with a woman to whom he's fundamentally not a attracted. The fact that (as Towleroad points out) the Mormon Church just reiterated its opposition to same-sex marriage in April, stating that succumbing to homosexuality is a sin, makes this even more disturbing.

The trailer seems light and fun, but it's clear these men are dealing with a lot. The bachelor says, "I want to marry a woman, but I don't know how to work out these feelings." Another, who is married to a woman states, "I don't think people understand us." I don't think that's true. I understand the need to deny one's true self so as to not risk utter social rejection. What I don't understand is the need to glorify the way religion can constrain people, break them down and punish them for who they are.



Let me be super clear about this: I think everyone should be allow to love whomever they want and be a religious person. I don't think that religious sect of any kind should discriminate against gay people. With that being said, I understand how and why a person might decide they want to live within their communities standards and struggle with this issue. I know a lot of people will come here and say that religion is bad and dumb for making people do this, but religion is complicated and encompasses many parts of people's lives making it difficult to just say 'ok, I'm gay, peace out!'. Despite the fact that TLC is making a spectacle of this, I think we should treat people struggling with issues with compasion and try to not just bash religion.