Screenshot: Instagram

Are you feeling tired and stressed lately by semi-famous teenagers like Woah Vicky and Bhad Bhabie, who appear in headlines for elusive reasons? Does hearing the phrase “hi bich” send you into a downward spiral? Do you read the words “Lil Tay, 9, clapped back at Danielle Bregoli” and want to scream and scream and scream into the dark night?

If so then you’ve come to the right place, because I’m here to explain this YouTube/Instagram beef that I, and maybe you, keep seeing. Because, frankly, this beef is kind of like the monster/disease in It Follows—where, in order to survive, you have to pass the information onto someone else so they get infected instead. The nightmare: you can’t sleep because you’re thinking about Lil Tay’s YouTube videos.

So I’m passing it on *whispers sinisterly* to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

Here are the players:

Bhad Bhabie aka Danielle Bregoli aka the “Cash Me Outside Girl”: Bregoli, 15, first appeared on Dr. Phil in 2016 as an out of control teenager, memorably telling the audience laughing at her to “cash me ousside, how bout dah.” She then took the barely existent internet fame that came from her appearance and successfully parlayed it into a rap career, releasing her first song “These Heaux” in 2017. Now she has a deal with Atlantic Records and everyone at Jezebel kind of likes her music.

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Woah Vicky aka Icky Vicky: Victoria Waldrip, 18, is an “Instagram personality” with over one million “followers” who are probably Russian bots. She mostly seems to post photos of herself wearing a variety of questionable hairstyles. In 2017 Vicky, who I can’t believe isn’t a Harmony Korine character, gained notoriety for fashioning herself as a sort of Rachel Dolezal 2.0, claiming she was actually black and that’s why she can wear cornrows and say the n-word casually. The NY Post also reports she was arrested in February for kicking a police officer.

Lil Tay: Taylor, 9, (nine), (NINE?!), is reportedly a rapper who hangs out with Chief Keef. She would like you to know that she has more money than you’ll ever have, as if I don’t know this already. But, you know, Tay’s subtle about it, like screaming about how she owns multiple houses and fanning stacks of cash in her Instagram photos. Lil Tay has also beefed with YouTuber RiceGum, who has claimed, in what seems like a joke, that Tay bullied his sister. Nobody knows who or where her parents are. In fact, she seems to have appeared one day fully formed like this. All I can say is if you know who Tay’s parents are please, please email me. Thank you.

Hazel Cills aka Me: A Jezebel blogger who has aged at least 40 years throughout the course of writing this post.

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As we reported on Monday, Bhad Bhabie got into a fight with Woah Vicky last Sunday. According to TMZ, the fight was set off by Bhabie claiming Vicky used a racial slur to describe one of her friends at a birthday party. But from what I can tell their beef appears to be waaay bigger and broader than that.

Vicky also makes music and in October 2017 Bhad Bhabie did a reaction video to one of Vicky’s songs, which was incidentally a racist dis track about the aforementioned RiceGum. “You can’t fucking talk right, you need speech class,” Bhabie says, and then tells the camera/Vicky that she needs to stop what she’s doing because “it’s disgusting.” That seemed to set off the feud between the two, who then were recorded fighting about god knows what over Facetime in July 2017. Vicky has also yelled at her followers to stop comparing her to “Danielle Broccoli” and complaining that her songs were better than Bhad Bhabie’s anyway.

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As for their physical fight, DJ Akademiks caught it on Instagram:

“Put your bag down tough stuff,” Bhabie says, while Vicky seems to stand there like a denim-clad deer in headlights, asking her “what’s up.” The camera then pans to Lil Tay, who appears to be six feet shorter than literally everyone else in the shot, who meekly offers her own “what’s up” and asks if Bhabie wants to fight. Vicky then asks Bhabie to hit her, which she eventually does in the video caught by TMZ, but men in the video break it up, and the two scream at each other as the fight breaks apart.

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Later, Lil Tay, unsurprisingly holding a stack of money in her hands, responded to the fight in a video captured by WorldStarHipHop, calling Bhabie alternating versions of “bitch” and “beeetch.” Woah Vicky also told the Internet that if she sees Bhad Bhabie again she’s going to beat her ass... but then gradually becomes more reluctant to take on the task, saying she doesn’t have time to fight a 15-year-old girl because she’s 18 and she’s not trying to go to jail.


The moral of this story is: don’t talk shit online about someone and threaten to fight them and then NOT come through on that promise in person!!!

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Hahhahahhahahahahaah just kidding. The moral is don’t let anyone under the age of 35 have access to the Internet. In fact, burn the Internet. Burn it down, okay, beeetch?!

Correction: An original version of this post incorrectly stated that Woah Vicky got into a fight with Bhad Bhabie at Coachella. Jezebel regrets the error.