A few days after their conversation, Apple texted Handler to share a story about Jennifer Lopez’s “beautiful ass,” and I, for one, have never been so overcome with jealousy:

“I forgot to tell you my J-Lo story from like 1996 or ‘97! I was in NY at a pre-Grammy party (because I used to go to shit like that). And my sister Maude was with me, but she was on the other side of this big room filled with little tables and mingling celebrities and executives… So J-Lo’s album hadn’t come out yet,and nobody had started talking about her ass yet — and I swear I saw her (J-Lo), and ran to get my sister JUST to show her how beautiful that ass was — and the moment I pointed her out to my sister, J-Lo turned to speak to someone and her butt was just above table-level, and her butt knocked over someone’s glass of champagne and she didn’t even notice. It was glorious.”


Glorious, indeed. Read the full conversation here.