This Tortoise Loves to Fuck


Behold Diego, a 100-year-old tortoise whose pure enjoyment of the simple act of fucking has made him the proud father of more than 1,000 turtle babies.

Diego is reportedly known around the Galapagos Islands as Super Diego; the reason is not made explicit, but I bet you can guess why. He was brought to the Galapagos in the 1970’s as a last-ditch effort to repopulate the hooded tortoise species, which he did and then kept doing. At press time, he was the father of approximately forty percent of the world’s hooded tortoises, a breathing testament to his fucking prowess.

“He’s a very sexually active male reproducer. He’s contributed enormously to repopulating the island,” a tortoise specialist at the Galapagos National Park tells the AFP.

I’ll say.

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