The New York Times published a surreal report on Monday about Jyoti and Kiran Matharoo, sometimes referred to as the “Canadian Kardashians” for their love of dating billionaires, craving for spandex, and constant influencing from the comfort of private jet flights around the world.

The sisters were born and raised in Toronto; their middle-class parents emigrated from India. Jyoti, 34, and Kiran, 32, told the Times that for the past decade or so they dated a string of wealthy Nigerian men and made regular appearances in Nigerian gossip columns. Then shit got crazy:

“But if their reality-television muses are famous for being shamelessly rich, the Matharoos became notorious after their unapologetic pursuit of material excess backfired, exploding into a messy international scandal involving one of the world’s richest men, a salacious gossip website, stints in Nigerian and Italian custody, and a battle to clear their names with Interpol, the global police organization.”

In December 2016, in Lagos, police knocked on Jyoti and Kiran’s hotel room door. The sisters were questioned at a police headquarters about whether they “owned a gossip website that had been spreading scandalous rumors about Nigerian elites.” They denied this, after which they were driven in a van to a second police station. They were seated in an office and told to write statements claiming they indeed owned a gossip website. At this point they still found the whole situation laughable

The sisters spent the night in jail. The next day, according to the Times, officers “brought them back to their hotel room, and took their passports, electronics and Nigerian currency worth more than $11,000 from the safe.” Then the Matharoos were allegedly driven to an airport hotel where they were detained for 18 days. They were accused of threatening to kidnap wealthy Nigerians, including an ex of Kiran’s, an oil tycoon named Femi Otedola worth $1.8 billion at the time, according to Forbes magazine.

An associate of Otedola’s reportedly told Jyoti and Kiran they could fly home to Canada if they apologized to the billionaire, so they filmed an apology and confession. They soon returned home, but their troubles were far from over. They discovered after a treacherous series of events their names had been added to Interpol’s database of red notices, which, per the Times amount to “international arrest warrants,” making their jet-setting lifestyle all but impossible. Eventually, after petitioning on their own behalf, Interpol removed them from the database.

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The article ends with some tips for getting and keeping a billionaire sugar daddy:

“Don’t be greedy. ‘When he asks what kind of car you want, don’t ask for a Rolls-Royce,’ Jyoti said.

Second, observe proper ‘jetiquette’ by dressing conservatively on his Cessna. ‘You don’t want to look like some guy hired a hooker for a weekend,’ Kiran said.

And, obviously, when he hands you thousands of dollars for a luxury shopping spree, bring him back some change.”

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Incredibly, this is merely a summary. It’s well worth it to read the article in full, right here.