Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

This Is Pamela Anderson's Time to Shine

The Pamenaissance has arrived and I’m ready to pledge allegiance.

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Photo: FRANCOIS GUILLOT / AFP (Getty Images)

It’s a Hollywood story we all know and love: the celebrity renaissance. We’ve successfully ‘sanced the likes of Matthew McConaughey and Laura Dern, watching their respective backslides into snoozy romantic comedies or bloated action films followed by meteoric rises to Oscar winners.

Yet, of all our fallen stars, one has waited patiently, clearly plotting her time to shine again: Pamela Anderson.

You might know her as the best lifeguard ever to don a fire engine red one-piece and jog in slow-motion on a beach; the woman who made an explosive — and kind of sweet? — sex-tape with nineties-era Tommy Lee (normalize it — he was hot) and was recently depicted by Lily James in the Hulu series Pam & Tommy; the failed Halloween costume of every basic supermodel for the last decade; a “friend” of Wikileaks’ Julian Assange. Though, to me, she’s known only as the one true People’s President and the time is nigh: The Pamenaissance has arrived.

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On Monday, news broke that that Anderson is slated to play Roxie Hart in the current revival of Chicago from April 12-June 5 at New York’s Ambassador Theatre. In an accompanying statement, she told the AP, she was “inspired by the unexpected.”

“For ‘Chicago,’ I’ll be putting all my cards on the table. I am doubling down — on me,” she told the organization.

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Our favorite onscreen siren, joined by fellow female criminals jailed for killing men, singing Cell Block Tango? Who read my diary? Considering Hulu’s unauthorized series about Anderson and Lee’s sex tape was done entirely without Anderson’s consent and continues to dominate the discourse, my preferred corner of Twitter is currently rejoicing over Anderson taking back her narrative. And as if the party couldn’t get any better, Anderson, as per this Instagram post, is also partnering with Netflix to tell her own story for the first time.

“My life/ A thousand imperfections/ A million misperceptions/ Wicked, wild and lost/ Nothing to live up to /I can only surprise you /Not a victim, but a survivor /And alive to tell the real story,” wrote Pam in a handwritten note featured in the post.

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The Netflix doc has been described as, “an intimate portrait embedded in the life of Pamela Anderson as she looks back at her professional and personal path and prepares for the next steps on her journey,”and features her son, Brandon Thomas Lee, as a producer. It reportedly will include never-before-seen archive footage, personal journals and, of course, access to Anderson the likes of which fans have never seen.

Pam stans — Pammies? — we did it! Now, let’s sit back, relax and watch our girl get ‘sanced the only way she deserves.