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This Dog Feels About Middle Fingers the Way I Feel About You

Some time ago, the devil opened up a tiny hole in the Earth’s crust and spit out the unwanted runt of a litter of hellhounds. He roamed the earth for a while, longing for the comforting eternal flames of home and yipping at larger animals who refused to take his threats of violence seriously. Before long, he was captured by an animal shelter and ultimately adopted by a human who found him adorable—as the very body which brought him scorn in the underworld was seen as desirable when lit by the sun.


Unaware that the beast had been given the name Xa’zul Demogorgon, the human decided to call him Joey.

Staff Writer, Jezebel | Man

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I think it’s time we shitty humans pack it up and give the planet back to the animals.