This Christmas, The Elf On The Shelf Will Hack You To Death With A Cleaver

Apparently the toy elf that goes with the book The Elf On The Shelf is “all the rage” this Christmas, especially since CBS aired an animated special in November. But as far as we know, the elf does not carry a meat cleaver and brutally hack people to death. And what’s with the candy cane blow job? Leave it to the folks at Next Media Animation to turn a sweet family story about striking fear into your children into a horrid, bloody tale. Nightmare before Christmas, indeed.