If you’ve ever wanted a behind the scenes look at the operations of #AllLivesMatter Twitter or #Menism Twitter and every other ding dong with an internet connection, look no further than this Australian chicken who figured out how to tweet.
Australian fast food chain Chicken Treat has given a chicken named Betty access to its Twitter account where she is pecking away until she randomly types a five letter word. (Via the Washington Post)
Betty, as you can imagine, is not doing so hot.
Although, considering the inanity that has come across my Twitter timeline, I can confidently say that I’ve seen worse.
This is all a marketing stunt by Chicken Treat and an attempt at a Guinness World Record because apparently that institution just doesn’t give a fuck anymore.
By Guinness’ sterling standards, Betty must tweet a five-letter word for her to be the first chicken to tweet. Although any real word tweeted by Betty would be a massive coincidence, she has apparently gotten “close.”
To no one’s surprise but everyone’s disappointment, most of her missives have been in “Chickenese” and not Australia’s native English. She has flirted with making history on just three occasions: Saturday, when she typed “FEW”; this Wednesday, when she typed “bum”; and just yesterday, when she typed “few” again, this time in lower case.
Right ok. Personally, I think the standards for Betty are too high. If we just take these tweets for what they are, they ain’t bad.
On a slight tangent, at at the risk of taking this all a bit too seriously, I’d like to briefly rail against bullshit world records like this. Call me a purist, but I believe that world records should be something that people are actually attempting to do with some regularity.
Oh, you’re mad old? Cool.
You ran really fast? Dope.
You baked an enormous cookie? Fine, I guess people try that.
But chickens around the world are not sitting at laptops around the globe trying to type! This shouldn’t count!
It’s not clear how long Chicken Treat is going to continue this little game but luckily for Betty, she’s a domestic chicken so she won’t be turned into a five-piece combo when she (almost certainly) fails.
Contact the author at firstname.lastname@example.org .
Image via Chicken Treat.