This CBD Burger Is a Dumb Scam

Illustration for article titled This CBD Burger Is a Dumb Scam
Image: Carl’s Jr.

CBD is a perfectly fine substance that, when ingested in high-potency doses, is said to help everything from period cramps to migraines to anxiety. Great! Any alternative to filling your body with more Sackler family-pharmaceuticals is a net win.


But with the passage of the farm bill, which removed industrial hemp from a list of federally controlled substances, CBD has been dribbled into everything from bath bombs to lattes, which doesn’t even make sense. Do you want to relax, or do you want energy?

Now Carl’s Jr. is using it as a gimmick in its special 4/20 burger, which will be available at a single location in Denver for a single day for $4.20. Though the burger will contain only 5 mgs of CBD (the average dose is apparently 25 mgs, and also CBD doesn’t get you high), I’m sure Denver local news will still be filled with aerial footage of lines of cars wrapped eight times around the Rockies, with curbside interviews of shirtless men in pot leaf bandanas answering questions about why they decided to come out here today. The segment will be called “High-Way to Burgers.”

Patty Trevino, the chain’s senior vice president of brand marketing, told CNN that its using the promotion as a test to determine whether a CBD burger belongs on its permanent menu.

“It is something that feels right for the brand,” she said. “We are all about innovation.” What she really means is “We are all about capitalizing on a trend and using weed puns even as lots and lots of people of color remain behind bars for marijuana possession.”

What if...all the money made from the CBD burgers went toward fighting for progressive laws that expunge criminal records extending from marijuana convictions and reinvesting in communities harmed by the War on Drugs? Just a thought!


Stephan Zielinski

Any alternative to filling your body with more chemicals is a net win.

What do you think CBD is?

Or 2-[(1R,6R)-6-Isopropenyl-3-methylcyclohex-2-en-1-yl]-5-pentylbenzene-1,3-diol to its friends.